Job Application

Dear Mr Bush..

Although you're about to leave the white house, in following the news, I've noticed that you may well be an advocate for a system that will certainly help me a great deal..

Let me explain.. I have lost a bunch of money in my life.. Certainly not the billions that your banking groups (like Citigroup) have managed to lose, and I've not yet had a sufficient effect on the economy to create any joblessness.. However, without any formal training whatsoever, I have managed to poorly invest and squander what money that I ever earned, or was entrusted to my care...

I believe, therefore, that this obviously outstanding and commendable skill, makes me eligible for one of the current government's bailout schemes.. Whilst I am only one individual, I can guarantee to lose several millions each week, and you should therefore appreciate just how competent a money drain I may be able to be..

With that in mind, and in order to accelerate this entire process, I have, today, decided to step down as my CEO, for which I will award myself a severance package of several million, and rejoin the organization as Chief Liason Officer for International Relations and production.. As you will most certainly be aware, this new position will be exceptionally stressful, hence I am willing to charge a new corporate jet, a house in the Hamptons, a Ferrari, and a company yacht to one of your bailout plans with immediate effect...

I feel certain that you'll be willing to help me in the next few weeks, as it clearly appears you're doing all you can to throw money away as fast as possible, and sink it into organizations that have already lost trillions, and are still tanking...

After all, it's not like you're going to be able to walk away with any of it... so sure.. I fully agree, you may as well spend it all before you go... I'm certain the next guy will be able to take the heat when everyone realizes that all the money is gone (which I am certain is your plan), and by then, you'll be miles away :) - love it by the way!

In the certainty that you'll be more than interested in proceeding with this venture immediately, I would be more than happy to receive, by return, the first few million for me to waste.. Oh, and please don't think too hard about what is happening to all of those "average" Americans... You haven't done anything about that at all since 2001, so why ruin a good thing? LOL ;)

Thanks..


Pony